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Your Past Should Not Define Your Future
Statistically, for people like me, the odds of achieving any kind of success are pretty slim. I was taken from my natural mother at 2 weeks old and placed in an institution. I was later adopted, then placed back into care at age 11. I was the definition of a ‘wild child’, cutting school, back chatting, smoking, going missing for days – I just didn’t want to go home.
During my teenage years, I got placed back to my natural birth father’s family, and things went from bad to worse. I had to fend for myself, had no support, not to mention that I was being used by my father for a number of illegal activities to feed his Heroin addiction.
In my late teens, I returned to my adoptive family and started to get my life back on track. The love and support they offered was amazing; they allowed me to forge my own path and supported me every step of the way. Seeking fulfilment – or trying to escape my past – I decided to move to Spain in my 20s. It was a time that completely changed me. However, what had started as a dream come true soon fell apart. One evening I found myself sat on the top of a cliff overlooking the sea, asking myself: what if I jumped?
Who would miss me?
Why would anyone care?
Would anyone even notice if I was gone?
I felt that old feeling back again, that deep sense of loneliness, abandonment and worthlessness. As I watched the Sun set I felt a sense of connection with the earth and the sun and I didn’t feel so alone. I felt connected and I felt a sense of empowerment. Why I didn’t jump into the depths of the Mediterranean, I still don’t know for definite, but I know one thing for sure, I was meant for greater things. So are you.
When I returned to the UK, I knew that I had a purpose I had decided to take control of my life.
In my early 20s I built a hugely financially successful business for myself and reaped the material rewards, but I still felt lost, empty and unable to manage a deep fear of my own vulnerability.
My Personal Struggles
By my late 20s, I had my first child, Marcus whom I describe as the key that unlocked my caged heart. It was painful and post-natal depression caused me to face my demons and my deep insecurities head on. A new mum, I suffered in silence with thoughts of my own abandonment. Looking at my perfect baby, I felt he deserved better than me, that I was sure to let him down and be a failure to him. Thoughts of leaving plagued my mind, I felt like an imposter.
My transformation came in the form of a deep depression as I commenced on a challenging road to finding my true self. Over this time, everything that I had built or worked for was destroyed along with my marriage and business. The path was dark, I shut out the world for several years, just about surviving. I realised I had two options; sit and wallow and continue on a downward spiral or see this as an opportunity to recreate my life. I decided on the latter.
Your Soul Has the Ability to Heal
My life was changed forever after this experience and I worked hard on my self-development, seeing myself as my own project! I had to change the story I was telling myself of self-hate, worthlessness and rejection. It took a long time, but eventually I began to like, love, accept and value the person I truly was, something I had never done before.
In my early 30s, I discovered that there was so much more to life than what you are taught at school. I learnt more and more about spirituality and discovered that we are all spiritual beings. I had a profound life changing experience during a Reiki session when I was pregnant and – although I had had quite a few out of body and paranormal experiences in my childhood – this confirmed to me we are not just our physical body. This experience set me off on a dedicated path to understand the body, mind and spirit. I studied a variety of different spiritual techniques over the years; from Reiki, E.F.T [Emotional Freedom Technique] to Hypnotherapy I even studied Bio Medicine, Naturopathy & Acupuncture and followed my passion to help myself and others. This is when the Soul Awakening Method really began.
Changing Your Future and Shifting Your Focus
Sometimes we have to go through painful experiences to discover our true calling and to cultivate the strengths needed to continue in the face of adversity. Life does not stop challenging you to dig deeper.
At 40, I was a newly single mum, my one to one coaching business was thriving and I found myself in a place of having to juggle everything on my own. It was overwhelming. Looking back over my life, nothing was ordinary, and I’d lived a thousand different lives in those 40 years, but despite that feeling of panic and fear in the pit of my stomach I knew I had more to give when I held my new baby girl in my arms. She was a sign for a new beginning.
I made it my life’s mission to learn how to undo learnt behaviours and thought patterns that hold us back. I wanted to share my compassion with the world and decided to create the Soul Awakening Academy.
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