Do you feel you are always on the backfoot, overreacting & regretting it later?
Here is what might be happening & why.
Your brain & body are having an automatic emotional response? So why does this happen?
What is it that attracts the people and events into a person’s life, so that they experience the same painful wound again and again?
It is tempting to believe that the problem will be healed by a new job, a new home, a new partner etc. But as we know, that is only changing the outer circumstances and not changing the inner cause.
Part of the answer lies in the fact that we need to understand ourselves deeply to correct our dysfunctional patterns caused by our incorrect thinking, presumptions and judgements we made as an immature-self. Carl Jung calls this individuation, Abraham Maslow calls this self-actualisation and Plato stated, Know thyself. All of the above statements mean the same thing, to know what is hidden or left unresolved n the subconscious mind. Carl Jung called this the shadow, the part of us we would rather hide or not face. But face it we must if we want to live whole, fully integrated lives and have adult fulfilling relationships, as Barbra Muhl says we must address our inner scripts and heal the ‘kid’ which means hurt child part of us that is stuck as that child playing out through our life and relationships.
So as adults we get to a point in our lives where we simply feel stuck because we’ve not yet understood or fully healed some of the more basic conclusions we made as a child. As we know our core beliefs are made from our experiences and can be assumptions and conclusions were made by us as unaware children, who at that time felt afraid, abandoned, separated and not good enough.
As children with immature brains as we cannot understand adult life and adult situations, we make every experience mean something about us i.e Dad left, therefore I wasn’t enough for him to stick around or if I only pleased him more he would have stayed. Every negative, painful event has to mean something. As humans we need to form meaning, as a child we make it mean something about us. Metaphysically we call these conclusions scripts. We internalise it and repress the pain and trauma it causes and we spend most of life living out or unhealed trauma in the form of a ‘script’ living in what Barbra Muhl calls ‘Fantasy Land’ telling ourselves that one day, a knight in shining armour will come to my rescue, one day when I reach my financial success I will be recognised for who I really am. But this simply is a fantasy as we must tear this fantasy script up if we are to ever face the truth, face our shadow, own our script and write and a new one.
If we think of the universal law of attraction, we know that the Universe is creative. It obeys our choices and gives us back exactly what we choose. So it would give the child back a life which appeared against it, where nobody cared and they didn’t feel good enough.
Scripts are magnetic. They act as an archetype which emanates through our auric field via our chakras. This magnetic power draws to us events which continue to reinforce our view of the world according to our script. Each time a script is repeated, it becomes more powerful and more uncomfortable. The law of attraction ensures that whatever we believe to be true is brought to us again and again. Barbara Muhl (the main teacher on script) describes script as ‘a catch 22 – scripts find the people and events to fulfil them, they get reinforced, and our belief in the script gets stronger and stronger and is even perpetuated lifetime after lifetime’.
We set our personal relationships, friends, business colleagues, intimate partners even children up to play their role in our play. It is as if we go around giving out scripts for our personal play, to each and everyone we encounter. These scripts contain instructions about the story of our life and how people can treat us. For example, if we have written a script that ‘people ignore me’. Then we might get angry when friends and business clients won’t return our calls, partners will not hear what we say, even shop assistants will ignore us in favour of another customer and strangers will perfectly act out their part in our play too.
It is amazing the way that it works. Until we recognise our own script and tear it up, it will continue to draw events/life lessons to us. You can always spot a script playing out in someone when they overreact to people, jump to conclusions and are emotionally triggered for no real reason.
People who have tried therapy or self-help groups often say, “well I’ve done a lot of work on myself, yet I still get into the same old arguments with my partner; the same old conflicts at work; the same old niggles with my children; people still seem to be able to press my buttons.”
Barbara Muhl explains that unless someone is fully aware, they are powerless not to read our script and play the part we set them up for and we are powerless not to play out their scripts too. Which is why some of these niggling patterns, keep repeating themselves. As we keep meeting the same ‘type’
Certainly, huge progress can be made on our Spiritual journey, however without taking the time to go back and heal these scripts, patterns will continue to repeat and these emotional triggers can draw us off course.
We must become aware of our scripts/stories by going back and healing the child or as Barbar puts it, the kid part of us. We must stop living in Fantasy Land believing all our problem will be over…when..and become a fully integrated adult by taking ownership of our script and rewriting it.
Ready to change your life? Check out my training & self-development courses here.