So many highly successful women experience what’s known as ‘Impostor Syndrome’ but what does this actually mean?
Well, it means that inside you, you carry a deep sense of guilt, even shame about who you are. You don’t appreciate your own success. You feel as though you have ‘made it’ from sheer luck or coincidence and that at any minute the bottom is going to fall out and your life will come crashing down. Of course to the outside world you present yourself as confident, in control and powerful. BUT you live in fear, a state of anxiety and defensiveness because you believe that one day somebody will discover the real you.
Not only will your life and career come crashing down but you will be called out in a huge showdown of impostor syndrome shame!
I know this feeling only too well, when your head hits that pillow at night and you review all the conversations and meetings you had that day. You question what people thought of you, ruminate over the conversations you’ve had, the looks and gestures you made to those around you. It is tiresome to try and keep the persona of the not true-self alive and active.
‘Happiness is a private club that will not let me enter.”
These were the final words of American journalist Leanita McClain, written after a life-long struggle of childhood desolation. McClain suffered adult workplace struggles fuelled by both internal turmoil and unforgiving prejudice which drove her to an untimely and tragic end. For many, McClain’s words are a painful and haunting identifier of the struggle to find happiness and inner peace which is undoubtedly, a struggle she was not alone in. And while not all of us may have gone through the plight that McClain did, we all endure some struggle from within ourselves.
For those who constantly find themselves battling waves of sadness and desolation, finding your Soul or authentic truth can serve as a holistic solution that truly focuses on one’s inner being. The Soul Awakening Method is a type of holistic therapy developed by Anne-Marie Mayers, has roots stemming from ancient spiritual healing techniques as well as Positive Psychology. Soul Awakening makes special use of its approach towards positive healing and hones in on mental and spiritual health. As Jon Townsin puts it, “An appreciative approach is a philosophy, not a technique.” Soul Awakening Method does just that in a uniquely specific method that expands positive therapy to the depths of one’s innermost being.
Often times, we may learn to view happiness as an evasive “private club.” One that may seem to let others have free, unrestricted access while it evades us no matter what we do. In our darkest times, we quickly learn how easy it is to highlight our flaws when something goes wrong, and we quickly make these kinds of thoughts a recurring habit.
Many of us find that these negative thoughts quickly devolve into clinical depression. In fact, the World Health Organisation (WHO) reports that as many as 300 million people across all ages struggle with depression. Other estimates about depression reach as high as 350 million.
Too many of us learn how easy it is to pick at our bruises and scars and point out how ugly they seem instead of finding reasons to love our-selves despite the darkness. As children we quickly learn what type of behaviour gets us validation, acceptance & love. We develop certain personas or archetypes which we project out into the world such as the good mother, the dutiful wife, the one who can’t say no, the rescuer etc.
These personas or archetypes types have been conditioned into us as a way to meet our deepest survival needs but they are not your true self.
In the example of the good mother, the good mother may be neglecting and suppressing her need for freedom, creativity,adventure and spontaneity as she feels it would be frowned upon to do so. So the good mother stays at home feeling duty bound and resents people who she sees as care free and adventurous and may call them selfish, bad mothers or careless.
Anytime we hide our ‘True Self ’ we are out of alignment. What is the ‘Not True Self? The Not True Self or the In-Authentic Self. The more someone lives a life that has shutdown, cut off, rejected or neglected a part of themselves the greater the pain, Anytime we hide our ‘True Self ‘ we are out of alignment with the truth of who we are. Soul Awakening Method shows us a way of rebuilding the relationship between our vitality and our authenticity.
Unhealed Trauma = A projection of a persona = The not the true-self.
How do we know when we are not living aligned to our purpose or potential? We feel an energy state that keeps us from:
- Sustaining our energy & vitality
- Being fully engaged in life with joy
- Bouncing back from setbacks & challenges
- Keeps you from expressing your authentic potential
- Keeps you from making your authentic contribution to the world
- Keeps you from fulfilling your soul purpose
- Keeps you in a state of fear, anxiety or worry
- Feeling tired and drained most of the time
- Lowered immunity
- Frequent headaches, back pain, muscle pain
- Change in appetite, sleep habits
- Lack of self-care
- Loss if interest in personal hygiene or appearance
- Self-doubt and sense of failure
- Feeling helpless, trapped, defeated
- Detachment from friends, family, social gatherings
- A sense of feeling alone in the world
- Loss of motivation
- Negative outlook
Our experiences lead to our behaviours. And our primary behaviours and personalities eventually give rise to the archetypes with which we identify ourselves. Taking an objective view of yourself right now, with whom are you associated to the most? Are you the Good Mother, the Dutiful Carer, the Doting Wife, the Vitim, Abandoned Child, The Fixer, The Healer or The Rebel or something else?
What has created your in-authentic self? To which archetype do you associate with the most? How has your archetype become your fixed behavioural pattern and why? And would you like to rewrite this behaviour pattern by rewriting your story?
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